Article 03.11.2026 2 min read

When your parents' wishes and yours differ: what to do when choosing a major

When your parents' wishes and your own differ: preparing for the conversation, explaining interests with facts, compromise options and practical advice for reaching agreement on a major.

For many young people the hardest part of choosing a major is reaching agreement with the family. Parents want medicine, law or engineering, while you are thinking about design, IT or another field. This article gives practical advice on how to approach the conversation. For an explanation of the study abroad process for parents see the Guide for parents.

First understand why your parents think this way

Parents usually speak from concern:

Job and income security in the future
Trust in familiar fields
Wanting the best for you

Understanding this concern turns the conversation from defence into cooperation.

Support your choice with facts

Saying "I want it" is not enough. Prepare:

The content and curriculum of the major
Where graduates work
Tuition, scholarships and job options
The result of a major test (for example the Holland test can show your interests systematically)

Hold the conversation at the right time and tone

Choose a calm moment when there is time.
Listen to your parents' opinion first.
State your arguments briefly and clearly.
Do not try to settle the decision in one conversation.

Compromise options

A combining major: a programme covering both directions (for example business and design, medicine and technology).
Different choices for bachelor's and master's: the family's preferred field at bachelor level, your own field at master's. More: Changing your major at master's.
A trial stage: testing the field with a course, project or internship.
A third party: a counsellor or an acquaintance working in that field.

What not to do

Announcing a decision suddenly
Rejecting your parents' opinion outright
Formally agreeing to an uninteresting major and giving up later

Remember

Choosing a major is your life, but the family's support matters. The goal is not "who is right" but finding "which choice is well founded for both sides". Having parents take part in a consultation sometimes makes the conversation easier.